Shocked January 2, 2014 at 4:22 pm
Open brief aan Zuster Jayanti.
Zoals U weet heeft BK Esther zelfmoord gepleegd door zichzelf op te hangen op 18 januari (18 Januari is”Baba’s Day” De belangrijkste datum op de BK agenda). Heeft U enig idee hoeveel een persoon moet lijden voordat iemand van een stuk touw een strop maakt rond de nek doet en vervolgens zichzelf van het leven te beroven?
Ongetwijfeld heeft U geprobeerd om u zelf en de BKWSU van elke verantwoordelijkheid te ontheven. Welk excuus heeft U gebruikt? Psychische problemen? En weet U zich nog steeds vrij te pleiten van de nagelaten zorg door de schuld te geven aan haar slechte karma? We zijn benieuwd wanneer U een teken van zorg gaat geven aan degene die dat nodig hebben terwijl Uw lezingen geeft over de betekenis van Gods liefde. We zijn benieuwd wanneer U enige zorg gaat ontwikkelen voor degenen over wie U van plan bent te gaan regeren vanaf uw Golden Age Troon.
Haar tragische en ongetwijfeld traumatische dood is een duidelijk voorbeeld van uw onwil om te begrijpen wat er gebeurt met de mensen in uw eigen organisatie. Dit is een schreeuwend voorbeeld van de noodzaak van een zorg beleid, iets waar U alles aan hebt gedaan om te voorkomen zoals de zogenaamde “Global functioning” maar Esther heeft aangetoond wat een verlate en nutteloze bezigheid dit is geweest. Het is gewoon een bla bla vertoning. U heeft gewoon geen idee hoe een zorgplicht te formuleren omdat het U niets kan schelen.
De reden waarom iemand een BK wordt is omdat ze denken dat ze het antwoord kunnen vinden voor hun problemen zij geloven dat zij onrein zijn en dat is de reden dat ze deze problemen ervaren. Maar het onontkoombare feit is dat ze problemen hebben en die problemen zijn meestal van emotionele aard. Dus om het om te draaien door te zeggen dat Esther zelfmoord gepleegd heeft omdat ze als uitzondering problemen had is belachelijk.
Brahmins hebben standaard een geschiedenis van emotionele stoornissen het is juist de reden dat ze BKs werden! Daarom is zorgplicht zo belangrijk. Er moet gewoon een systeem komen dat ondersteuning biedt aan mensen zoals Esther zodat ze kunnen worden geadviseerd en geholpen en dit is een gespecialiseerd gebied dat speciale vaardigheden vereist. Het is duidelijk dat U die vaardigheden niet hebt.
Het fundamentele probleem is dat een BK wordt aangemoedigd om zich los te maken van de wereld waaronder lokik (niet BK) vrienden en familie en dus als er iets mis gaat waar moeten ze dan nog heen? U hebt ze geleerd om geen enkele vorm van steun te vragen en daarmee maakt U ze afhankelijk van BKWSU maar vervolgens voldoet U niet aan de verplichtingen die U daarmee op U neemt..
Wanneer zult U erkennen dat het trauma onafscheidelijk verbonden is met het uiteenvallen van een leven als BK? Wanneer zult U uw reductionistische gemakkelijke positie van ‘karma, drama, fortuin’ overwinnen en U houden aan wat U predikt, mededogen, compassie en liefde?
Kan het U nog steeds niet schelen wanneer de volgende depressie of zelfmoord zich voordoet? Haalt u de kwestie wel eens aan van de zuster in Spanje die een zenuwinzinking had en dat het haar vervolgens verhinderd werd om haar familie te bezoeken? Of Lee James die gedwongen is om in therapie gaan maar nog steeds de verantwoordelijkheid heeft voor het Brisbane centrum? Wanneer krijgt U eens door dat er echte mensen met echte problemen zijn en dat U de belemmering bent om hen te helpen!
Het leven en het welzijn van elke BK staat op het spel. Dit is groter dan U. Doe ons allemaal een plezier en ga uit de weg! Laat mensen die in staat zijn zorg te bieden deze verantwoordelijkheid op zich nemen. Er zijn veel mensen beter dan U in de Brahma Kumaris. Zij kunnen een belangrijk verschil zijn waar U en uw waggelende rechtschapenheid niets anders dan een obstakel zijn gebleken.
Ik was zo depressief na het beluisteren van zoveel murlis dat ik niet meer kon spreken.
Door XX, @ 3:07 pm
Aanvankelijk leek alles in orde. De laatste zeven jaar voelde ik alles van gelukzaligheid, vrede tot woede verraad en het ergste de verwarring die ik nooit eerder heb gehad in mijn leven. Ik reisde de wereld rond en ontmoette allerlei BKs maar mijn ervaring met Jayanti bhen maakte het me duidelijk dat deze ’spirituele’ organisatie niet was wat het leek.
Toen ik voor de eerste keer aankwam in Madhuban had ik het gevoel dat ik in de leeuwenkuil werd geworpen. De zusters waren zo kattig en als blikken konden doden had Jayanti dat meerdere keren met mij gedaan en was ik lang geleden al dood. Het was de bedoeling dat ik me schuldig zou voelen, ik was jong en mooi en omdat ik samen met een BK vriend was zorgde dat voor veel jaloezie en drama in de “familie”. Nou, vele (niet alle) BK’s zijn de meest negatieve en verknipte mensen die ik ooit heb ontmoet in mijn leven. Ik ben zo dankbaar dat ze mij deze rot tijd hebben gegeven (ze wisten wel dat ik dwars door hun hypocrisie heen zag ) wat me God dank verder weg duwde in plaats van dichterbij ondanks mijn angst om weg te gaan en mijn gehechtheid aan “God” te verliezen.
Ik voel me zo vreselijk verdrietig voor sommige van mijn vrienden wiens handen gebonden waren aan BKWSU en die niet de moed hadden om hun eigen ware vrijheid terug te vinden maar in deze elitaire sekte koop je met geld en status een stoel op de voorste rij in Madhuban en dat maakt de gevangenisstraf een beetje makkelijker te hanteren is het niet? Ik heb veel spirituele kennis opgedaan omdat ik er zelf werk van maakte maar ik heb alles van geld, zelfvertrouwen en vooral vertrouwen verloren en het belangrijkste is ik heb maanden van mijn leven mijn kostbare tijd verspild en ik kon niet langer normaal functioneren.
Ik was zo depressief na het beluisteren van zoveel murlis dat ik niet meer kon spreken. Ik wilde al zolang iets schrijven aan iemand, maar dat zou tegen dovemans oren en koude harten zijn die alles zouden ontkennen dus heb ik het laten gaan. En elke keer als ik probeerde iets met iemand te delen over hoe ik me voelde dan draaide ze het om, om mij te laten denken dat ik het allemaal verzon. Dus ik ben zeer dankbaar dat ik deze website heb gevonden waar ik mijn ervaringen kan delen met anderen. En ik ben dankbaar voor mijn bescherm engelen die er voor zorgde dat ik niet verder ging met de BK’s hoewel mijn hart in verwarring was. Ik ben nu bereid om verder te gaan met mijn leven en deze ervaring als een opstapje te gebruiken.
Ik werd gedwongen om “wakker te worden” en te groeien op een manier die ik niet had verwacht door mijn geloof in mensen waarvan ik dacht dat ik ze kon vertrouwen maar die uiteindelijk alleen maar probeerde alles uit mijn psyche te wissen met hun voodoo. De angst voor intimiteit en het gebrek aan emotionele volwassenheid die ik ervaarde bij sommige van de broeders en zusters is zo pijnlijk, de bazigheid en arrogantie van de centrum hoofden is ronduit schandalig.
Ik voelde me als Dorothy in de Tovenaar van Oz die vaststelt dat de wizard niets anders is dan Weasly een kleine man verstopt achter een gordijn. Voor hindoes die geloven in karma, beseffen ze dan niet dat al dit hersenspoelen zich op een dag zal omdraaien en ze flink in de kont zal bijten? Ik bid voor mijn lieve broeders en zusters die diep van binnen weten dat er iets niet helemaal juist is.
I was instructed to sell all my musical equipment.
When I was a BK, I offered my ability for service and was promptly told that Dadi doesn’t like musicians as they inevitably all leave Gyan and there is a lot of Maya in artistry. I was then instructed to sell all my musical equipment, which I did … always Ha Ji you know … those guitars were rare and treasured objects … what a waste, I sold them quick and cheap.
How I missed it later on, music and playing in bands had saved me as a young person from getting in a whole lot more trouble than I did. Ridiculous is not it, that these Seniors are prepared to give such instruction of the top of their heads as though god is working through them and that they are instruments?
I am a musician too (bass guitar, piano) and I was put under pressure to stop playing with non-BKs, but was encouraged by my local centre to play at their programmes. Fortunately, I did not stop playing with non-BKs or sell any equipment. I was more of a Na Ji type.
It does seem that musicians and artists are not given much respect by the BKs, (unless they are famous and influential). They have more respect for money and business skills … all very Golden Aged (not) .
( a 20 year old who is affected by her mother joining BK and ruining the entire family and a 20 year old who is now afraid to get married because she doesn’t want to leave her siblings with a mother who is selfishly devoted to nonsense). She send this email sent to BK xxxx.
Mothers must not have affection for their children
Can you please give me information on ex-BKs Ranjana Patel and her Brother Sharad who committed suicide due to Om Shanti? She threw herself down from a 5 story building or so. I am informed that all BKs know the answer to this question, and I would like the answer too.
Can you please give me statistics on how many husbands and other family members have committed suicide due to a mother/Sister becoming a BK? I am 100% sure there is A LOT!
Also, why is it that many ex-BKs have told me that 13 years ago you chanted the same prattle about the world ending in three years, yet 10 years later, it’s still the same? Today, you keep corrupting new BKs with the same thing, yet everything is fine. Who are we to believe, scientists who have accurate EVIDENCE or you who claim that Baba told you this when really it’s just some old man sitting behind the mic pretending to be Baba? Reality check sweeties is what you need . Maybe you need a human being to take you behind the curtains so you can meet Mr. Old Man who is sitting behind the curtain speaking on the mic pretending he’s Baba’s messenger. Hey!!! Can I do this pleaseee? I love speaking on the mic!
According to your teachings, the world is going to be imminently destroyed by natural disasters, civil wars and nuclear war, so that 900,000 of your faithful followers can enjoy the Golden Age heaven on earth in about 30 years of time? Once again, this was said 50 years ago and today the earth is still existing without golden airplanes and golden houses.
You all believe that the soul is genderless and equal. Why is it that men and women are separated during meditations? I thought all human beings are souls, all souls are genderless, why the separation?
According to Hindu tradition, a Sister ties a rakhi on the Brother’s hand. According to Om Shanti, a husband is the “Brother” of his “wife”, despite the fact that they had sex. How disgusting to have sex with your own Brother! Do all BK women have sex with their own mother’s son? Should I ask my mother to tie a rakhi on my Father’s hand? Should I tell my mother to stop wearing her mangalsutra? Should I tell my mother that she has no right to ask for an alimony when she gets divorced because my Father is not her husband, it is her Brother? After all, who asks for an alimony from their Brother, right?
According to Om Shanti, mothers must not have affection for their children as the world is going to end in three years (once again my mother was told this five years ago! Shocked that the world hasn’t ended yet? Maybe the guy behind the mic got his numbers mixed up I suppose?). I told my mother to leave my house and she says that she’s hurt. Why???? BKs cannot have emotions!!!!!! OH MY GOD … my mother feels hurt!!!! Does this mean that my mother is now becoming a Shudra once again? UH OH!! If someone you loved passed away, I am sure you would sit there and laugh because you have no affection towards them right? Now who is a pure human, you or the rest of the world?
According to Om Shanti, dinosaurs existed only 2,500 years ago and that the world is only 5,000 years old. Can you please provide me with evidence to such a belief? Do you have fossil evidence? Did one of your BKs live in that time period?
BKs believe that all “normal” human beings are called “Shudras” which defines as “lowest caste untouchables.” What happened to believing that all souls are equal?
You guys believe that when you eat from someone else’s hand-made food, the bad vibrations will get to you. Did it ever occur to you that you guys are not pure or good, as you sit around ruining other people’s homes and try to deny it? When someone commits suicide due to Om Shanti, you deny that it was Om Shanti’s fault. Hate dealing with the truth, huh?
Also, you believe that you cannot eat anything that people touched because that person may be a “Shudra”, did you ever realize that apples are picked by HUMAN BEINGS from the trees not BKs? Did it ever occur to you that machine made chips and stuff are also touched by other people? Ouch, the vibrations!!!!
BKs do not believe in materialism. WOW, I wonder how you guys get to your center, hmmmm walking? No, I don’t think so! CAR? Yes!!!! Car = materialism. OIL = materialism.
Believe that the world is going to end due to consumerism and materialism? Are you not supporting materialism and consumerism by buying houses in areas that used to be forests? For your information, half the wood and concrete that is being used to build your homes is made by cutting down forests and people who are paid below minimum wages! Are you not supporting materialism and promoting global warming by using gas in your car to get to your center? Oh yeah, not to mention, did you know that car parts are made by people in third world countries in sweatshops? Sounds hypocritic, eh? Peace? Also, did you know that your center uses electricity, which runs on oil/gas? Did you know that this contributes to global warming? Did you know that you are part of the population which is PROMOTING global warming, thus the destruction of the world?
What proportion of BKs leave after what period of time and what exit strategies do they have for committed members? My friend was thinking of joining the cult. I advised her against it as there are no exit strategies.
What transparent and accountable structures do you have for dealing with financial, sexual and systemic abuses within the organization?
How does your organization work financially? Do you participate in money laundering?
Last but not least, are your teachings not similar to the Al Qaeda network in which you all promote giving yourself up for religion?
These questions may seem tough to answer. I would like for you to answer them anyway, as if one is considering giving one’s life to an organization or allowing BKs to interfere and affect your innermost being then it is only fair to know, am I correct? After all, these are the same questions any normal human being ought to ask any cult before they join, am I correct?
MY MOM IS PART OF THE xxxx BKs!!!!!!!! If you know and have any advise, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE help me!!! I will definitely fight against this.
My mother does not cook much. If she does, she cooks a lot of extra stuff so we can eat it the next day and the day after. None of the cooking consists of garlic and onion. My Father’s doctor has advised him to eat garlic, yet my mother doesn’t care. She sleeps early so my dad never gets warm food. I am learning how to cook, as it’s hard for me to find time since I work. I am a full time college student earning a biology degree, and I take care of two kids including their school issues and their home care.
My mother eats but attempts not to eat with us as she’s taught not to speak while eating. My mother doesn’t eat out either. We went on a Europe tour past summer, spending over 17,000 Dollars; she didn’t eat out during the entire tour which made us look stupid. Sometimes she wouldn’t get off the bus because she’d spend time meditating on the bus as the XXXX BK’s had told her to do that.
When we reached the Roman Colloseum, she said “What is there to see in a broken building? I need my rest”, so she didn’t come. She woke up 4 in the morning during the tour and meditated, thus she slept during the tour time in the day time. All taught, once again, by the XXXX BKs!!
My mother was hesitant about attending my graduation in high school. I was second PLACE in my entire school, ‘salututorian’, yet she was hesitant about attending my graduation because it was around her meditation time. My mom never came to my award ceremonies, nor did she go to my siblings.
I hope you did not lose your temper!! PEACE, PEACE, PEACE!!!!!
Remember, just by being politically active; just by donating money for peacekeeping forces at UN; just by building a couple of universities; does not exempt you from being allowed to corrupt people’s lives!
– Love Always –
Later she told us: I emailed just about every Om Shanti center in the world with this letter of questions and none have yet replied. I’m sure they’re all communicating with each other thinking “Damn what will we do, the truth is out YET ONCE AGAIN!” Normally when I write to Om shanty centers, they reply within a day!!! But not with this one! Proves that we’re right! Definitely they are after the money. We have told her many times that if my dad left her, she’d be moneyless, thus the BKs would definitely leave her on her own. My mom calls the ladies in the center in xxxx, Florida all the time claiming that her husband is being verbally abusive (my dad tells her off about BK stuff saying it’s all bull ****) and that her kids are being very disobedient (because us three kids don’t listen to her anymore).
She asks the “Sisters” what she should do. Immediately they respond by saying that she should deal with it and just be patient and everything will be okay. They literally tell her, “DEAL WITH IT”. If I were marired, and my husband and kids verbally abused me, my friends indubiously would ask me to come to their place and shift there until I feel better. But her “BK Sisters” refuse to look after her.
One BK, her name being xxxx who used to live in xxxx but shifted to xxxx and I believe she is in xxxx now, is the one ******* up my mom’s life completely. Right now, my dad’s cousin is staying at our place because her husband passed away, so my dad is her only support.
My mom went to India to meet “Baba” in Abu, so when she was gone I took all the red symbols and all of Baba’s pictures and took them to the center and told them that I never want to see this **** in my house again. When my mom came back, she was talking to xxxx bhen and xxxx bhen told her that all this happened because of my Aunt, who came in with bad vibrations. Xxxx bhen tells my mom that Aunt my should be kicked out because her bad vibrations are going to cause her to leave the BKs.
We get blank calls all the time (telemarkters etc) and xxxx bhen told my mom that she talked to Baba personally and Baba responded by saying that Aunt is on the verge of destroying our family so the blank calls are to destroy our family. My mom said, “OKAY, I will stay home on Sundays and Thursdays” when normally she goes to the center those days, so she can find out who it is making the blank calls.
xxxx bhen said; “NO YOU MUST COME TO THE CENTER AND BRING “Bhog”… (BASICALLY DONATION TYPE STUFF WHETHER IT BE FOOD OR MONEY). Otherwise you will lose your connection with Baba. The center is 45 minutes to an hour away, gas prices are high, my mom wakes up at 3 am in the morning … makes food … delivers it .. and comes back. xxxx bhen said that she must do this no matter what …
You tell me, what should I do! I really want to egg xxxx bhen’s house and put garlic and onions all inside her car!!!
Totale fysieke uitputting en steeds meer vervreemding van de gewone maatschappij.
“Ik voel dat ik nu wil gaan bijdragen”.
Van xxxx behoorde ik samen met mijn levenspartner tot de dragende kern van BK xxxxx: 15 jaar lang waren wij (zij wat meer en ik wat minder) ‘pakka Brahmins’, die de regels niet eens echt moeilijk vonden. Het voelde zelfs lang als de vervulling van ons leven: ons laatste pad, na 5 jaar lang twee andere ‘New Age’ paden verkend te hebben. We kwamen dus niet als groentjes, we waren eerst al een tijd bij Bhagwan en volgden daarna een 4 jarige training in NLP. Als een van de hoofdteachers las mijn vrouw 13 jaar lang, soms dagelijks, de ‘goddelijke’ Murli vanaf ‘Baba’s gaddhi’ en gaf velen persoonlijk advies.
Deze broeder hield zich (meestal) netjes gedeisd, om de zusters ‘een eerlijke kans’ te geven in hun ‘spirituele groei en zelfrespect’… totdat langzaam maar zeker de blijkbaar ingebouwde ‘tijdscode’ van het jaar 2000 meer en meer aan mijn ‘blinde geloof’ ging knagen. Op 11 aug 1999 bestudeerde ik op mijn werk de zeldzame zonsverduistering en plots kwam de magische gedachte in mijn hoofd: wat als de zo lang verwachtte destructie (transformatie) nu eens niet gaat plaatsvinden, niet in 2000 en niet in 2006 of 2012 … Nee, helemaal niet, wat dan? Hoe lang kan je als trouwe BK op zoiets blijven ‘hopen’?
En als zij, die Baba niet herkenden, dan niet allemaal verdampen, moeten we dan misschien toch niet wat meer gaan samenwerken met andere vernieuwende groepen? Waarom gebeurt dat toch steeds maar niet?
15 jaar lang had ik mijn kritisch denkvermogen op slot gezet, o.a. door het dogma van het onmogelijke ‘mysterie’ van de ‘zich identiek herhalende cyclus’ van 5000 jaar. ‘Mindblowing’ gaf ik destijds al toe, maar nu kon ik het toch niet laten om, tegen de adviezen in, maar weer eens te gaan neuzen in spirituele boekhandels. Niet alleen in bevestigende boeken als ‘Nostradamus’ of ‘de Bijbelcode’ maar ook in die van andere, meer hedendaagse en algemeen gewaardeerde channels. Die bleken steeds meer te spreken over een grote positieve wijziging in de vooruitzichten over de noodzaak van aarde-catastrofe’s, sinds de zgn. ‘Harmonische Convergentie’ in 1987, waarbij Maya-kenners en New Age-leiders op elkaar afstemden.
En inderdaad: in mijn beleving waren vooral 1985 en 1986 de feest- en de top-jaren geweest van de BK, daarna kon ik toch steeds minder makkelijk vertrouwen op de suprematie van ‘onze Shiva’ en ‘onze BK’.
Nu, 9 jaar later, en (niet zonder de nodige moeite) helemaal vrij van alle onzin BK-programmeringen, verwonder ik me nog wel eens, hoe ook ik destijds zo makkelijk in de fuik van het BK-geloof kon gaan. Ons Hogere Zelf moet het als de beste rol hebben gezien, die we in die ‘overgangstijd’ konden spelen, we wilden immers zo graag meehelpen aan de spirituele redding van de mensheid en ‘moeder aarde’.
Wat bij mij de doorbraak gaf om echt af te haken en mijn eigen intuïtie weer te gaan vertrouwen was helaas niet een bewust genomen besluit, maar totale fysieke uitputting na 2 jaar steeds meer twijfelen. Ik zag bovendien ook steeds meer teachers en zgn. ‘pakka’ studenten uitgeput raken, wellicht door het gebrek aan zichtbare vooruitgang en door de steeds grotere vervreemding van de gewone maatschappij. Het experimenteren met afstand nemen werd voor mij extra gecompliceerd door de teacher rol van mijn partner. Het onuitgesproken, dagelijks door BK gevoedde, taboe tussen ons was namelijk dat je elkaars vertrouwen in ‘Baba’ en ‘Drama’ niet mocht beproeven door je twijfels te bespreken en te onderzoeken. Achteraf was het meest vernederende dat de kennis en de coördinator tussen ons in was gaan zitten!
Toen mijn hoofdpijn teveel werd en ik al maanden ziek thuis zat, sprak ik eindelijk de magische woorden: “van nu af aan doe ik niets meer, wat ik niet van binnenuit voel, anders kan ik net zo goed dood gaan”.
Mijn partner werd intens bang, dat ons huwelijk, net als dat van andere BK’s, dan snel zou gaan stranden. God Shiva had immers voorspeld dat ik van 5 hoog zou vallen en al mijn botten zou breken. Mijn nieuwe (levens)lust zou me beslist in de goot doen belanden, mijn spiritualiteit zou onherroepelijk verdwijnen … Brahma zelf bleek op dat moment dus een goeroe, die ongehoorzame volgelingen belast met een vloek, die zichzelf dan ook nog magisch vervult, zolang je ook nog een maar beetje in zijn onzin blijft geloven.
Gelukkig wist ik door trainingen in NLP hoe programmeren werkt en begonnen mijn partner en ik aan een zeer emotionele periode van een jaar lang deprogrammeren, tot we ons eigen (spirituele) zelf weer hadden hervonden. Toen begon ons nieuwe avontuur van ongebonden spiritueel leven.
Het lijkt dé vraag te zijn van zovelen: hoe zijn we toch verstrikt geraakt in de ideeënwereld van de BK? Hoe kan het dat we het zover hebben laten komen dat we na jaren compleet uitgeput zijn geraakt? Hoe hebben we al die concepten zomaar voor zoete koek kunnen slikken?
Uitputting draagt er naturlijk wel aan bij dat je steeds minder helder kunt denken. Het systeem is zo ingericht dat alle wegen naar zelfstandig denken worden afgesneden: elke seconde van de dag aan Baba denken, service doen totdat je erbij neervalt, elke ochtend om 3.30 opstaan en om 11.00 naar bed als je geluk hebt. En dan de hele dag door traffic control. Tien jaar geleden was dat nog om de 3 uur, inmiddels is dat opgeschroefd tot elk uur!
Ik heb een tijd gedacht dat ik zo gegrepen ofwel ‘geïntoxiceerd’ was omdat ik intens verlangde naar een familie. Mijn eigen familie was immers danig uitelkaar gerafeld. Dat heeft me zeker kwetsbaar gemaakt en daardoor stond ik er makkelijk voor open. Maar of dát nou de reden is waardoor ik maandenlang op een wolk heb gezweefd en jarenlang heb geloofd in deiti-beloften en dat de geschiedenis van de wereld 5000 jaar is? Er moet toch meer aan de hand zijn geweest.
Dat de BKWSU huwelijken en gezinnen uiteenrukt is een van de meest verdrietigste dingen die gebeuren. Ik kom uit een gebroken gezin en heb als kind ervaren hoe groot de impact daarvan is. De grond verdwijnt onder je voeten. De BK heeft heel wat kinderen het recht op een veilige jeugd ontnomen. En heel wat partners het plezier van een stabiele relatie. Terwijl dat ons grootste goed is: onderlinge vriendschap, liefde, vertrouwen en een veilige omgeving. De belofte dat we dit bij de BK zouden vinden is een gotspe! Alles bleek 180 graden anders. Waar liefde moest zijn, trof ik onverschilligheid. Waar vertrouwen moest zijn, trof ik geroddel, competatief gedrag en klikspanen. Waar veiligheid moest zijn, trof ik de voorwaarde van absolute gehoorzaamheid aan senior teachers.
I cannot count on my own family – I must be on my own.
I became a BK as a teenager and left at about age 21. I guess when I left I thought I would just try to get on with a normal life and put the BK experience behind me – go to college, get a job, meet new people etc, and that time would heal …
However, it did not happen and I am kind of embarrassed to say that 25 years have passed and, if I am totally honest about it, I still feel that I cannot comfortably touch people, have friends, or eat normal food etc. I have been suffering alone in silence for 25 years, wondering why my life still seems to be constantly full of serious “bad luck”, mental/emotional/physical pain & illness, and an inability to have happy relationships or make long term plans despite years of therapy, positive thinking, good education and healthy living?
I discovered this site about a month ago, and the “penny finally dropped”. I had no idea that so many ex-BKs existed and that the “programming” ran so deep, or that the BKWSU was, in fact, widely recognised as a destructive religious cult. I am amazed at how similar a lot of the ex-BKs stories are to my own. I am just so grateful to the people who started up this site and to ex-BKs who have been brave and kind enough to share their stories. At last I can know that I am not some kind of intrinsically defective person, but that my mind was programmed during my vulnerable teenage years with a lot of very insidious and destructive thought patterns, especially about what would happen to me if I dared to leave the cult.
Now, I hope that by talking about the BK experience and facing the lingering programming I can finally take back my life. It’s never too late.
My older Sister first became involved in about 1980 after she had moved to a larger city to start college. She had embraced Raja Yoga wholeheartedly and later went on to become a leader in many BK centers. So I was introduced to the BKSWU through my Sister in about 1981. I was very vulnerable at the time due to some serious trauma and lack of family support, and the BKs (and my Sister) seemed to provide a peaceful haven.
I moved out of home at 17 and attended teachings at a Raja Yoga center in that city (guided especially by my Sister) for a few months. Then I returned to my smaller hometown – armed with stacks of Murlis and tapes and a new vegetarian, anti-social lifestyle, convinced that nothing worldly really mattered and that rigidly maintaining “purity” and meditation would solve all my problems.
Trying to maintain this Brahmin lifestyle in a small town without the regular support of other members and a teaching center was an extremely isolating experience, especially when what I really needed to heal from the previous trauma was connection and support from friends and family. I ended up very stressed and confused and ended up dropping out of college and leaving home again, and moved around the country a lot attending various BK centers until 1985.
Interestingly enough, I could never intellectually accept the doctrine, and felt no real connection with ‘Baba’, and resisted the pressure to go to Madhuban – but somehow the teachings had got in deep. For a while, I lived with some BK Sisters and every time I expressed doubt about illogical aspects of the teachings or the contradictory way BKs behaved there was always the same “shame and blame” response – it was my fault because I was simply not following the teachings properly or meditating enough.
When I told a senior Brother at the center that I was thinking of leaving in early 1985, he told me that BKs who abandoned the chance to be gods and goddesses in the Golden Age, and who dared to criticise the BKWSU, would suffer severely as the “lowest of the low”. He was very specific and told me that, as a female, I would even be raped during this degraded age as punishment if I said anything bad about the BKSWU.
I walked away in 1985 and I did voice my opinions in a small way about BKSWU as being a cult but, unfortunately, I feel like I have been unconsciously playing out his ugly prophecy for the past 25 years. I really feel like there were some kind of post-hypnotic suggestions planted in my mind – as there is even now a strange passive blankness that comes over me when I try to focus on living a “normal” positive life, and an unbelievable string of “bad karma”/accidents etc that happen especially when I really try hard to break free of the BK conditioning.
I know this will all sound really crazy to someone outside of the BK experience, which is probably one of the reasons why therapy never really helped me. We never got down specifically to the BK subconscious programming. And, while I recognise that I obviously had some pre-existing trauma and unresolved family issues before Raja Yoga (as did my Sister!), I can see that the BK indoctrination made things 1,000 times worse and actually prevented any chance of healing or normal emotional development from my teenage years into adulthood.
I sometimes now have flashbacks to my pre-Raja Yoga years – and I can actually remember when I experienced life in a much more simple, positive, physically active and natural way. I even dare to wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn’t been taught that touching people was wrong, that children were like “scorpions and lizards” and that the world was about to end.
It’s pretty hard to argue with “God is teaching us personally the absolute Truth only in the BKSWU” and this is the one chance in all of history to get it right, or be condemned to an eternal round of endless cycles of ignorance and suffering. That goes in deep – and is hard to overcome. But it is absolutely essential to look at – otherwise we can go round in circles for a very long time with our world view essentially still controlled by the very narrow, illogical and unsophisticated BK teachings. I know, I have inadvertently done this for 25 years. How totally embarrassing!
So, while I am still a little worried that some long-term psychic infestation by dangerous BK spirits may have happened to me during my teenage years, I can see that becoming fully aware of the lingering unconscious belief patterns is the most important step in taking back my power. And, hopefully, once I do this, my fear about the psychic powers of disembodied BK spooks will disappear too.
Hello everyone. I was thinking very long time to finally be courageous and make a decision to write you.
I joined BK in 1994 when I was 19 – it was a very hard time to me as my parents were separating (my mother completely surrendered to BK in 1993) even though they were marriage until my Father’s death. As I mentioned it was very difficult to me to deal with all the problems I had (I had no idea about it what they are about to) – last class of high school – final exams, many sleepless nights … I just was NOT able to study, to learn, to think and what is worse I blamed myself for it, I disappointed everybody. Finally I was even NOT able to think about the exams I got into deep depression (first severe episode of what I had no idea though). On the day of my exams I went to school but as I approach the front door I turned away and very slowly went back home.
On that day I felt that everything is completely useless and senseless to me. When I got home I said to my parents that I will never go to school. And closed myself in my room staring senselessly in the ceiling everyday. I stopped to eat, to sleep, to wash myself … I even stopped to talk to anyone. It did not impressed to my parents – Father preferred rather his colleagues and having a good fun with alcohol, and my mother as I mentioned before has had in that time already surrendered to the BK. So, I was completely alone and in the deep desperation. Sometimes my colleagues have visited me trying to convince me to return to school but I was saying NO. The only help I needed was a psychological help but I did not realize that and besides no one was caring of it. Nevermind. This is the past.
Some day my mother finally noticed that I am constantly in bad mood and invited me to some meeting in a local community centre – it was in the time when BK students returned from Madhuban and were sharing with their experiences. Nothing suspicious – just a typical meeting with some interesting people telling about their interests … an exotic atmosphere, incense sticks, vegetarian food, short meditation. I went there because I had nothing to lose – even in my dreams I did not suppose that this meeting will completely change my life.
I stayed with them helping to clean the room and removing decorations and, on that same day, I went to the centre-in-charge for a tea. I was completely astonished, shocked and bewitched with that place. White walls with big strange colourful pictures hanging on. Strange red lamp and a portrait of some Hindu old man in white clothes who was smiling in a very hypnotic way. And his eyes – he was looking in a such way that I had goosebumps.
So I was talking a little with the BKs among them was my mother – we had tea, toli, etc. I was feeling there very comfortable and I asked a sister-in-charge whether I could come here anytime to help or just to spend some time. She agreed and since then I started to spend whole days in center-in-charge, and after a week or two I decided to take a 7 day course. I had no questions. Even the celibacy and odd vegetarian diet were no problems for me. More over, when I heard to die in my life – it took me one day to completely change myself (I destroyed/sold or just gave to others many MCs with “kaliyuga” music, computer games, sold my books, changed my dress code and started breaking contacts with my friends, colleagues, family). I surrendered in 100%. My mother was completely astonished with my rapid transformation. Sorry – my Sister, a soul who was playing a role of being my mother.
Eh, that period of sweet intoxication … I felt like I am on high – it lasted few months and after that – completely cut off and hard painful landing. Time to make more efforts. Finally, I became a student. A Godly one. I got my own shawl, a badge, my notebook and my new, the one and only Brahmin family, welcomed me with a loud applause. I started to live a real BK life-meditating, serving, participating in every Murli class. Finally I got a very important function – became a “multimedia man” and soon after a computerized multimedia man and part time translator.
I returned to school but it wasn’t me anymore as my the one and only thing in my mind was “to serve”. I was so cheeky that even gave a class on math on the subject of Raja Yoga meditation (my wonderful teacher was so tolerant that she not only threw me out of the class but peacefully listened to all that bullsh** of mine). This is one and only one example of what BK has done good to me – thankfully I was able to finished my high school even though I did not passed the high school exams.
I made quite a big impression on a Regional Coordinator and I gave a permission to go to Madhuban – been there in the spring of 1995. I was very exciting of Shiv Jayanti, meeting God in personal! But when it started and I saw thousands of Brahmins from all over the world sitting there in almost religious ecstasy and I, among them feeling completely nothing, I started to feel sadness, anger, disappointment – who may be so cruel to have pleasure cheating me in a such way?! Who deceived me?! This evening I found myself in Global Hospital because of sickness and exhaustion.
I got out next day on Holi celebration and since then I started to think by myself. I tried to ask anyone why I was felt nothing supernatural besides terrible pain in my back, headache and seeing an obvious woman in a white sari who was sitting on stage and speaking Hindi in a very frightening whisper-like manner.
And everyone smiled to me and responded to me just as “You have to had deeper Yoga/be in deeper rememberance of Baba/give it to Baba” Just as they were programmed to speak this one sentence on and on. And with that I felt even more disappointment and feeling of being cheated. More over I felt that by asking such impertinent questions I am breaking the God’s law – no asking “Why?”, “What?” and “How?”
After returning from Madhuban I stopped to investigate why I was feeling nothing, and took several tries to finished with BKism. Heh, I did not suppose how difficult it would be. As I was stopping to go to the class then my Brahmin family started to phone me home, giving some presents, showing how much they are worrying because of my absence, and because I was controlled very strictly by my own mother, I was returning with ever more rising the feeling of guilt and stings of remorse. Besides, there were the Meditation of Peace programmes where I was just irreplaceable and necessary Godly multimedia man.
In 1999 I had an accident – I was beaten by some hools on drugs equipped with bats. That night I finished in the hospital on the dental surgery ward having broken jawbone. But this also gave me strength to try the last one time to finish with BK. It was so special time because there were nobody in the city who might stop me or control me – everybody went to Madhuban – it happed in the middle of February 1999. I did not informed my Father before I went to the hospital because he was drunk and was sleeping. They phoned him from the ward next day while I was already hospitalized. This was a deep trauma for me and it released hidden mental issues collected through all my life.
When I returned home from the hospital having railed jaws but in one piece I started to realize my strategy of getting divorce with that so called Ocean of Love who with great love scared me in almost every Murli about the inevitable destruction of humanity and recommended just not to think about it, have a constant and deep Yoga with him and remain in a soul stage. Thank to my friends who even thought I broke contacts with them they did not forget about me (we started to visit each other) and to my Father who just was letting me to eat his food I slowly started to get rid of BK diet habits. I was starting also to change my dress code and ordered my life that was head over heels until now. I started to read books, newspapers, buy some music – do what I really like for my own egoistic pleasures.
And I was so naive thinking that THEY just will leave me alone and let me live. When my mother returned from Madhuban and saw me with a plaster cast on my face, and dressing BLACK not white she told me nothing but since then she started to organize for herself “sessions of silence” – she was going with the big badge pinned to her breast signed “SILENCE” not telling to me and my Father ANY word. She was hoping that in this way she could force me to return to BK but I was not going to. Then she was giving me “incidentally” invitations for Meditations of Peace meetings, sending some tolis, small gifts – I was fighting with her but denied to accept. But in mind I felt very awful and felt guilt for doing harm to her. I decided to make a compromise-not to stop meditate.
One day when I was meditating being completely alone I felt something strange in my mind, terrible pain in my head, got blood running from my nose and lost consciousness. After I came to my senses (it lasted probably an hour or more when I was laying on the floor being unconscious) I realized that THIS is a kind of a WARNING to me – I MUST FINISHED WITH BK BY ANY CHANCE !!!
A year later I was diagnosed by (not a BK) specialist – I suffer from mental disorder called depression, have got a high level of fear and I am classified as a borderline person (I did an MMPI test). More over I was told that I was lucky enough to meditate having mental disorder that it hadn’t finished with autohypnosis or deep trance-like stage of mind. Funny thing is that when I was trying many times to speak with anyone about my often headaches when I was meditating (even with Dadis or psychiatrist while I was in Global Hospital) – the only answer they had to me was have a deep Yoga.
So, I physically finished with BK in 2000, after being 6 years in Gyan but mentally the whole brahmakumarismic poison is still in me.
My family situation which is very bad force me to live with my mother who has been being a BK for 16 years and she still is trying to force me to go back to BK as she is not and never won’t reconcile herself with the fact I am not and never will be a BK again – in 2006 she tried to hypnotize me and bring more Brahmins home because she was thinking that evil spirits possessed me (I escaped then and go straight to the police department making an accusation of being emotionally terrorized by my mother who is in a cult group-I was scared that she and my so-called Brahmin family would be able to do me REAL brainwashing I couldn’t even imagine when she will bring them home).
Sometimes it’s so hard that the thoughts about committing a suicide are coming. No more Dharamraj thinking, no more panicked mood of Final Doom, no more thinking of being a pariah/Shudra or something worse, a traitor of family of future deities and of the “God” himself. Banished and cursed forever.
But finding such place as this forum make me feel that I am not the only one in the world, that there is nothing to be ashamed of sharing such stories.
I cannot count on my own family – I must be on my own. Hope that finally I will solve my problem – a month ago I started to go to the foundation run by the Dominicans – they help people after cult groups. This is the only professional kind of help in my city – there are very few psychologists trained in helping post-sect victims (in my country unfortunately the problem of sects is marginalized), groups of support don’t even exist and psychiatrists have no ideas of the so-called post-sect syndrome – they only recommend hospitalizing or/and pharmacological therapy.
So, this is my story. It was very hard to me to me to throw it all out. Thank you all for the reading. Sorry for my poor English.
Still the tragedy touches me as a person because this latest suicide seems to advertise so strongly the dangers of indocrination within the BKWSO. My story, goes back a long way. So I will try to be essenceful. And I also need to exercise some caution as I am not sure it would be a safe step to identify individuals.
When I was first introduced to the so called ‘Knowledge’, it was through a friend who had met a guy delivering the 7 Days Course in UK. From the outset, I found myself challenging the teachings being given to my friend by this so called “teacher”. I had for many years studied spiritual systems and religions, psychology, mysticism, and a host of other subjects. So I felt I had some understanding of these things, sufficient to ask informed questions about what my friend was being taught.
I challenged the cosmology, the notion of the 5000 year cycle, the role of Lekraj, the issues of celibacy etc. At one point, my friend became frustrated and angry with me, and I was later to learn that each time I had challenged BK ideas he had gone back to pose my questions to the BK teacher. Although my friend was given answers to his questions, he later told me that he felt the BK teacher was pretty threatened by my questions – an odd reaction considering this BK was in possession of the so called “truth”.
I also later learned that this ‘teacher’ was in fact not delivering courses from local BK centres, but from his home due to the fact there was some antagonism between him and the instrument soul running the centre. Later this instrument disclosed to me and others, it was his devotion to Raja Yoga that drove him to this path and that he did not trust the insturument at the centre whom he considered was envious of his rapid growth as a Yogi.
This kind of friction between BKs, so clear at the beginning, was to become an enduring characteristic of my dealings with the BKWSO.
Over some months, I learned more about the BKs and received the foundation course from the same ‘independant’ teacher. I later learned I was viewed in a less than positive way by this teacher who, in one session, deliberately asked me questions about my affiliations with another spiritual group. Unsatisfied by my answers, he concluded that my affiliations were nothing but a figment of my imagination. Only later, from others that he had confided in, did I learn this.
The irony of course is that my affliliation was genuine but to experience that kind of judgmentalism and dishonest attempts to ‘catch me out’ was hurtful to learn about. This was one of the first examples of the real character of many in the BK family. When I say “real character”, I mean, of course, the characters that lurks underneath the smiles, the drishti gazes, the veneer of hospitality, the sweet words of ‘Brother’. As I came to learn this facade conceals a less than wholesome set of motives for some BKs. Many practising BKs are victims of what I would refer to as ‘ambition outreaching ability’.
In time, I was introduced to the small local centre and then the larger ones, including those in London. The latter centre I visited just a few times to see Janki, Jyanti, Sudesh and others. Unfortunately, there had already been disagreements and bad feeling created between those running the local centre and the teacher. I, and several other new BKs attending this centre together, were ‘briefed’ by the teacher about the bad practices of the centre instruments and warned about them.
A good 3-4 of us, having been given the basic teachings by the teacher and cautioned in this way, became rather allied with the teacher against the insturuments. We met at first reasonably, frequently with the teacher, and a culture of criticism and ridicule of these centre instruments was both facilitated and encouraged by this teacher. It was all very immature and unsavoury stuff when I look back on it. It was also very un-yogi behaviour. The centre instruments, had in their turn, tried to warn me away from the teacher.
This very unhealthy climate characterised my visits to the local centre, and also my visits to the larger ones. As I was introduced to more BKs, a kind of ‘them and us’ mentality grew up toward instrument BKs, mainly as a result of perceived inaccuracies in their behaviour when measured against ‘Shrimat’. The attitude at times was very unforgiving, and at other times the BKs adopted a kind of false, “let’s have good wishes for the enemy” approach.
This latter stance had the effect of allowing these BKs to appease their conscience for former instances of ridicule toward the instruments, and was clearly to me a kind of grand egotism – the kind that stems from the view that they are on the right path, so they are able to extend the benefit of good wishes to those on an innacurate path. This kind of immaturity and superiority – this egotism – would often be disguised as humility and comapassion. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth and it is tragic when I think of the extent to which these BKs were in the grip of this delusion.
If I had to say one thing about my experience, then it is that both the teacher and other BKs exhibited an inability to see through the veil of their own egotism, but a well developed capacity to believe they could identify egotism in others in such an adept fashion.
As months and then years rolled out I experienced many BKs who seemed in the grip of their egos, who concealed their dishonesty and duplicity behind several Gyani concepts; a favourite shield for such dishonesty being the famous, “Art of Revealing and Concealing”. This concept was poorly understood by most but that did not matter, it was a ready and expedient justification for deceit.
On one occassion, I was informed by my fellow BKs that I would not be allowed to continue my meetings with them unless I reduced the amount of time I talked. Especially indulgent was the act of talking about oneself. A keen eye was kept on the ratio of conversation between BKs in this group, and signs of ‘ego indulgence’ usually meant talking more than others in the group. I discovered that this situation had been supported, if not orchestrated, by the very teacher who had delivered the 7 Days Course to me.
As absurd as this sounds, this was the climate within the BK group, and this threat to ostrisize me was one of the most hurtful and rejecting experiences I encountered in those early days.
This example illustrates the kind of oppressive, judgmental and duplicitous climate that existed. A climate ready made to create mental distress and erode a person’s sense of worth and identity. This carried over into the centres I visited in general, where instruments appeared egocentric, semi literate, uneducated and with only a thin understanding of the Murlis. There was widespread Dadi worship in the centres which I found to be verging on dependancy for many. I knew BKs who, suffered stress related ailments, poor self-esteem, loss of independence, esteem issues, addictions, and depression. At times I witnessed racist attitudes toward non-whites, while non-white BKs often exhibited resentment and ridicule in return.
I was told by the teacher soul I first encountered that the “End of the World” would be in ten years – well, that marker passed more than ten years ago. The constant reference to preparation for ‘the end’ becomes the constant focus. Efforts were geared toward the end of one’s life, so what point is there doing a degree, having a family, or having a career? I found this mentality to be one of the most unhealthy, and a powerful robber of my life.
Some BKs cultivated an air of mystery. They created the impression that they were able to fathom the secrets of the Murlis and glean Baba’s most covert instructions. These BKs were somehow special enough to have this ability, and would of course be able to ascend to dizzy heights in their development. Again, this astounding arrogance sat side by side with a philosophy of humilty. People saw in themselves often no conflict between the two elements.
From the beginning, I entered a fratured culture of gossip, backstabbing and hypocrisy within the BK family, and soon felt increasingly alientated from the BK family as a whole. We tended to stick together in small groups, because centre life could not be trusted. This climate of estrangement gives little nurture to the spiritual aspirant. After a few years my efforts became weaker, I felt depressed, lonely, and at odds with the world around me. At first these struggles were interpreted by me and the teachers as part of the inevitable struggle between the old impure self and the new fledgling yogi. I realise now, of course, that my low mood and malaise was due to the denial of human needs, and a healthy appetite for normal interaction with the larger world.
In my enthusiasm, I also encouraged others into the BK fold – a fact I now regret deeply. I was constantly underestimated and treated like some novice to be guided by wiser Seniors. Again, I realise this was just garbage. As I started to re-orient myself and took up my studies again, the teachers reacted with constant surprise at my acheivements because they clearly had underestimated both my intelligence and my abilities. This reaction revealed their impoverished view of myself.
After some 5 years, I began studying again and developed my own career as a counsellor, teacher, trainer, mentor, supervisor, groupworker and cognitive behavioural therapist. I write articles, reviews and now books. I have found my life and nurtured it in a healthy way. I look back and see all the features of an alluring apocolyptic cult in the teachings and structure of the BKWSO. It is hazardous to the mental health of people.
One unfortunate legacy of the BKs I am witness to in my area, is the emergence of several individual therapists and the agencies they establish. These therapists and teachers etc, are really BKs but conceal these affiliations from their unsuspecting clients. They employ helping strategies with clients which are often thinly veiled BK methods. For me, these people present a hazard to the public in the UK.
Well, I did say I would be essenceful did not I? I may have not acheived that so well but condensing many years into one email is not so easy.
Hope the message is clear – be warned and avoid if you want to remain healthy.